Wise Guy Willie And The Invader

Willie Baxter was a nine-year-old with a very important job. He was the official, self-appointed director of household security for the Baxter residence. He had a mop of bright, carrot-red hair that defied all attempts at brushing, a face completely covered in freckles, and a gap between his front teeth that was perfect for whistling or shooting watermelon seeds. Right now, he was stationed at his primary observation post: behind the dusty yellow curtains of the living room window.

He pulled the fabric back just a tiny crack, barely wide enough for his left eye. Outside, the afternoon sun was shining on the front porch, but Willie did not care about the nice weather. He was focused entirely on the target. Standing near the porch railing was his sixteen-year-old sister, Samantha, and next to her was the biggest problem to ever enter their neighborhood. Willie stared at the boy with shaggy brown hair and a blue varsity jacket. This was Cooper, the new boyfriend.

To Willie, Cooper did not look like a regular teenager. He looked like a giant who had escaped from a beanstalk story and decided to hang out on their porch. He was so tall that his head almost brushed the hanging flower pot his mother had put up last spring. Willie watched as Cooper leaned against the wooden post. The whole porch seemed to groan under his weight. Willie squeezed his eyes shut for a second, imagining the entire structure collapsing under the sheer size of the intruder. But when he opened his eyes, the porch was still there, and so was Cooper.

The worst part of the whole situation was Samantha. Usually, Samantha spent her time looking at her phone, rolling her eyes at Willie, or telling him that he was the most annoying kid on the planet. But right now, she was different. She was laughing. She was laughing at everything Cooper said. Cooper would open his mouth, make a weird face, and Samantha would let out a high-pitched giggle that made Willie shudder. It was a terrible, fake-sounding laugh that Willie had never heard before.

Willie rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might get stuck in the back of his head. He knew exactly what was happening here. Samantha had been brainwashed. There was no other explanation for why his normally grumpy sister was acting like a cheerful puppet. This giant in the varsity jacket had clearly used some kind of secret teenage spell on her, and Willie was the only one who could see the truth.

He reached into the deep pocket of his cargo shorts. His fingers brushed past a rubber band, a plastic magnifying glass, and a half-eaten piece of blue chalk before finally wrapping around his target. He pulled out a small, spiral-bound notebook with a black cover. On the front, he had written the words Top Secret in messy red crayon. He flipped the cover open to the very first blank page and produced a chewed-up yellow pencil from his other pocket.

He pressed the pencil to the paper and wrote down his very first official observation in big, blocky letters. The Intruder has a loud laugh and smells like peppermint gum. Willie sniffed the air, even though the window was closed. He did not need to open it to know the peppermint smell was out there. It was so strong it probably traveled through the glass. He stared at his writing, feeling a deep sense of responsibility. As a professional wise guy and the smartest person in the house, it was his duty to save Samantha from this boring teenager.

For ten whole minutes, Willie did not move. He kept his eye glued to the gap in the curtains, tracking every movement. He watched Cooper shift his weight from one large foot to the other. He watched Samantha twirl a piece of her strawberry blond hair around her finger. It was painful to watch. The intruder was taking up valuable porch real estate. He was a threat to the natural order of the Baxter house. If this kept up, Cooper would start coming inside. He would sit on the couch, eat the good potato chips, and take up all the space.

Before Willie could write down a second observation about Cooper's ridiculously large sneakers, a voice boomed from the kitchen. "Willie! Samantha! Dinner is ready!"

It was his mom. Her voice had that specific tone that meant everyone had to move immediately or face the consequences. Outside on the porch, Samantha seemed to hear it too. She said something to Cooper, waved her hand in a goofy way, and turned toward the front door. Cooper waved back, giving her a wide, friendly smile that Willie found highly suspicious, before turning to walk down the driveway.

Willie quickly let go of the curtain and let it fall back into place. He stuffed his secret notebook back into his cargo shorts and took a step back. His heart was beating a little faster than usual. He knew that life in the Baxter house was about to change, and he did not like it one bit. The peace of his home was being threatened by a shaggy-haired giant who smelled like candy. Willie needed a plan. He needed to reclaim his territory before the intruder took over completely.

He looked down at the floor near the sofa. Sitting in a small patch of sunlight was Pickles, the family cat. Pickles was a fat, orange tabby with a permanent scowl on his face and only half a tail. He looked like he was constantly judging everyone in the room, which was exactly why Willie liked him. He was the perfect partner for a mission of this scale.

Willie walked over and sat down on his knees next to the cat. Pickles did not move. He only opened one green eye, staring at Willie with his usual look of deep disapproval.

Willie leaned in close, keeping his voice down to a whisper. "Did you see him, Pickles? He is huge. He is like a giant. And Samantha is totally under his spell. We cannot let him come back here. The war has officially started."

Pickles did not meow. He did not stand up. He slowly closed his one open eye, let out a long, heavy sigh that sounded like a deflating balloon, and tucked his paws under his fat chest. He went right back to sleep, completely ignoring the call to arms.

Willie smiled, nodding his head. He knew the cat's language. That heavy sigh was definitely a sign of agreement. Pickles was a soldier of few words, but he was on his side. Together, they would build traps, gather intelligence, and make sure Cooper the giant never wanted to set foot on their porch again. Willie stood up, patted his pocket to make sure his notebook was secure, and headed toward the kitchen. The battle lines were drawn.